As if it never happened or A lesson on emancipation in New York


Statue of LibertyThis is a story that really happened, but it lasted for too short period of time that today it resembles a dream. So that’s how I remember it – dreamlike and unreal.

It was in New York that I decided to wear shorts for the first time. In public. The real shorts, sporty and very short. Such shorts I would never put on in my home town, the part of me that was self-conscious and was still stuck in the age of puberty was telling me I was too fat and prevented me from even considering such a thing. And I never did, I was feeling good in pants, long skirts and those of knee-lenght.

In this ‘first-time-worn’ shorts in New York I felt great, as any eighteen-year-old girl should feel. The city was whispering to me that I should feel great, because then, there, that weekend, the city and I were having a romance. You know, this city is a real charmer, casual and dynamic, it’s a city that seduces you with its everything-is-possible and anying-can-happen attitude as long as you are able to let yourself walk freely in it. Thus, seduced and dazed I was taken hither and thither by the city, and I felt like I belonged there and that I should stay there forever. I cannot say this happens to everybody, but I sometimes slip into the mood when I feel like my life is a part of a movie, and this time the movie script said I could be a New Yorker whenever I want.


A trip to New York was not a dream, in fact it lasted one weekend and a thousand and a few hundred kilometers, which was the distance from Montreal and back. I just know that I really wanted to go there and that my wish came true. I remember being driven through Bronx when I felt a sense of beauty while looking at these red-brick buildings and the fire escape stairs. I also remember having no fear whatsoever walking through the streets and avenues, shopping in the Chinese non-stop working store where I was feeling great being aware oif the fact that I was in the center of the world, in the store where a real New Yorker would jump out of his apartment to buy something in the middle of the night. I have not been particularly interested in the sights of this city, just as I am not interested in these kind of things whichever place I visit. So, I was constantly peeking at the entrances of the buildings and thinking about the people living there, and about what they could been doing. For a little while I let myself daydream having this picture of ordinary New Yorkers in my mind, as my imagination was developing more and more stories about their lives.Stepenice

Zgrada 1  Zgrada 3

I remember I could not sleep in a hotel room, for I was so thrilled at the thought that I was in a hotel in a city which to me  represented the center of the world. I could hardly wait for the morning so I could wander aimlessly, soaking up the life on the city streets.


These two days I did just that – wandering, absorbing, refraining from taking too much photos, letting myself experience the joy of simply spending some time in this city, pitching this sensation deep in memory. So, the thought about New York today is just a memory of a great delight and fascination, without no much pictures, just the small scratch on the surface that should prepare me for my next visit. I’m sure the next time the experience will be completely different, but I like to close my eyes and bring to my mind this short time I felt like a part of the center of the world, when I felt what’s it like to feel free and emancipated.

Grand central terminal